He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
