wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
he's single and there are thong briefs.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
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