I think scott just propositioned me for sex
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
