you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
Randomize
