Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
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