i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
Sorrye. The bathtuv says hi. But theresno water in it. I've wanted too tell you for the longest, but nevr could
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
