I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Yeah I don't even know dude. This shit has reached new levels of ridiculous. Let's hope baby Jesus gallops down a rainbow on a sparkling unicorn and wills that bitch clean. I think that's the best chance we've got.
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
so i find a box of condoms inside my car with turn by turn directions to her bedroom... kinda freaked out cause she got my address and somehow inside my car
just caught myself putting beer in the oven and pizza in the fridge. i should be a trainwreck by tonight.
Randomize
