so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
We started snorting MDMA at 3 in the afternoon...it was never going to end well.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I think people are normalizing furries
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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