We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
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