I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
