I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
You are lucky that I'm drunk. Otherwise I would bone you into another universe
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
