last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize