Pappa wants mamma naked
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
3 guesses about who had to still-drunkenly facilitate a fire drill at 2:40am because freshmen can't handle microwave popcorn.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
