Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
Todays lesson: Chew your food better when your drunk. I almost choked throwing up this morning.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
