The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
It can't be easy when an alcoholic Russian is screaming to the entire dorm "he no get hard"
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
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