Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
Randomize