I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
He had a curved dick....must be a european thing
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
Randomize
