The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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