wrigley field is MILF paradise
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
The beer is more important than you right now.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I'm so eating pot-chocolate cookies while preggers. This kid will be so amazing.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
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