WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize