ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Your panties and toothbrush are in your mailbox. just not ready to be with anyone serious. take care.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
