He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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