He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I believe in your delicious
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
Randomize