Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
Randomize
