he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
