Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
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