She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
You know who really doesn't like surpise in-your-face air guitar solos? Strangers.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Totalylr drunk. Coveredc in cryola marker. Loving it. Straight men everywhere. Don't be surprises when I'm pregbat romorrowwwww
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
You ever fart so bad at work that you think about taking a sick day just to spare your coworkers from the savage olfactory beating they are about to receive?
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
