Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
"Tuesday" and "open-bar" shouldn't be used in the same sentence.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
pray to the hookup gods
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
