I just put out an orange level terrorist threat on her punani
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I would have rather been getting my vagina slowly waxed all day then be here.
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
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