Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
i just ordered an al pacino with double mocha at starbucks.. i'm waiting to see how long it takes the chick to realize what i said.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
Randomize
