Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
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