Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
