i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
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