I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Hahaha she was way into you and you kept arguing about burritos. It was amazing.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Randomize
