I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
I just made Jack Daniels snow cones.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Oh and in case you were wondering it is not a good idea to eat weed brownies and then go out to the bar. When I got off the bar stool my high had just hit me and I felt like Bambi taking his first steps
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Finally washing the shoe scuff marks off my front windshield :( bye bye memories
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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