What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I really have a thing for Greek chicks; I feel like while we are having sex she has the ability to make hummus which is just too appealing for me to pass up.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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