you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
you told all the 17 year old girls at the party that your mating call was "I glitter in the sun"
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
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