planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
Worrying about "What smells like cat pee?" is so much easier than worrying about "What am I doing with my life?"
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I had tater tots and weed with a stripper at 4am who compared the size of my boob to her head because fuck you my life rocks
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
These muscle relaxers obviously don't work because I'm harder than a fucking diamond.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
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