garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
She threw my purse across the room almost broke a lamp and this all started bc she forgot what an air mattress was
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