I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
kyle and i were puking, simultaneously, off the front porch at 4 am, and in the middle of it he looks up, reaches his hand over, and says "knucks." And then I proceeded to fist bump him. By farrr the best time I've ever had puking.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Randomize
