i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize