Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
you invented a new sport called "bacon pulling" and you cried everytime a piece broke
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize
