That's intense
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
God damn. I'm really starting to resent babies. They're everywhere. Like fucking land mines.
Really, thanks for buying me caribou, it helped me out. Today will forever be the day I threw up in a caribou cup in the skyway outside of chipotle.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
She complained to dominos last night for hanging up on her, and then she wrote "fuck you dominos" on the receipt when we got our pizza
So we are banned from the campus dominos
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
Randomize