this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
I'm gonna hire strippers dressed like the founding fathers.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
