so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
you threw up in thedumpster behind red robin
and kept yelling "DIRTY BIRD"
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
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