Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(919): View more from North Carolina

Apparently you make a good broom.

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(409): View more from Texas

It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.

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(980): View more from North Carolina

I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks

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(518): View more from New York

All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(630): View more from Illinois

This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.

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(732): View more from New Jersey

Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though

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(262): View more from Wisconsin

i'm behind the bar giving him a hand job. i need stuff to make my foot stop itching.

(715): View more from Wisconsin

okay, this is where i needed to clarify that i was kidding before when i said that jizz helps mosquito bites. but let me know how that goes. for future reference.

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(201): View more from New Jersey

i sent my dealer a picture of the money i would pay him. i also told him i would pay him in cheez-its if he would prefer that.

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(314): View more from Missouri

The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.

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