But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
ok is that genuinely the first four bars of mozart's symphony #40 sharpied onto my arm or
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holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays