Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
He stole the megaphone off an ATM then we drove around so he could tell people not to jaywalk.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
Just woke up, shitty hungover, and realized that every article of clothing I slept in was backwards, bra included. Fuck you, gin. Fuck you.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(