Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
Randomize
