My hair reeks of homosexuality.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I came back and almost ran over two people passed out in my driveway I've never met before in my life
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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