I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
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