You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I love you.
Bad choice
Randomize
