I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
And the cops told us we were all naked.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
