I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
He brought me four big burritos and two joints! He can sleep with his bank teller any time he wants!
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
In case you were wondering how drunk I was last night, there was an unopened slim Jim in front of my door and I ate it.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
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