new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
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