i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
Michael Bay diarrhea
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
If I had a dick, I'd stick it in some Oreo pancakes
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
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