Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(972): View more from Texas

And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.

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(630): View more from Illinois

I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...

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(305): View more from Florida

i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.

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(914): View more from New York

Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.

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(803): View more from South Carolina

I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on

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(908): View more from New Jersey

I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!

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(802): View more from Vermont

Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail

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(562): View more from California

I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.

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